There is a great debate in the wedding world these days, as to why we all do this. Why do weddings matter?

1. The act of publicly committing yourself to another person. Vowing before everyone you love and whichever deity you do or do not believe in, “This is who we are, and we are dedicating our lives to each other.” No matter how many people are watching, I think the public part is a good reminder that this is no small feat you are undertaking. And, hey, you promised!



2. Celebrating that commitment to another person. It’s no small feat, but it is one based in love and joy. I think that calls for a party, don’t you?

3. A great reason to get all those people in the same room. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: There are at least five people on your guest list who you haven’t seen in forever and can’t wait to hang out with at your wedding. Don’t discount it — this is one of the few opportunities you’ll have to get all the people you dig and who dig you in the same place. It’s a one-stop shop for a good time.

4. Finding out how the two of you work together and how to improve how you work together. This will come into play many times during your marriage. Planning a wedding will teach you how to compromise. How to reach a goal under a time limit, and often, under stress. You’ll figure out the best way to deal with your families. You’ll figure out the best way to deal with each other. I’ve said this before, too, and you should really trust me on this one.

5. Seriously, The Love, you guys! No, really. Right now I’m thinking about the wedding I shooted on Easter, and the way the two of them were looking at each other. And the way everyone was looking at them. They’d created this day that had all the things that made them happy, from the purple roses to the Appletinis to the four-hour photo booth. It is gratifying to create that kind of environment for yourself, surrounded by your own idea of The Pretty and The Cool. It’s one day, yes. But it’s your day.

And the practical and political reasons:

6. For the same reason you vote. Because you can. And it’s another one of those infrequent times where you get to publicly affirm your choice. And everyone should be able to do this. Every weekend l witnessed a wedding of those who have made a choice to do that.